Saturday, October 28, 2017

RED PILL BLUE PILL

Take the blue pill they said, and you`ll wake up to your normal life. Take the red pill, and see the truth. Neo got the option - live in the dream, or see how far the rabbit hole goes. Some of us don`t get the option.
The world as we knew it is suddenly stripped away and the `Matrix` is exposed. A new life with no illusions, no dreams, only cold hard reality. The red pill and no going back. Life will never be the same. Once you know, you can`t ever, un-know.
You can`t un-know that life was a play and you were the actor. Can`t un-know that life is not what it seemed, that there are only three things that are real. 
serotonin
dopamine
norepinephrine

Sunday, September 25, 2011

The Journal

From June 2008

The fog slid in over the mountain brow obscuring the green trees and ancient rock of the mountain face. Only a few minutes before, she had been able to see the shape of the brow, the lights at the top - street lights? spot lights in a park? - the trucks and cars that travelled up and down the hwy road. She now thought of the hwy as "the mountain road" although she knew it was the 403 hwy. Now that she had lived with this constant view with it's abundant lush greenery, a gift to those who lived below stacked up in their boxes.

But the white mist had swallowed half the mountain and half the road. The remaining half of the mountain brow, less than a half mile away, now appeared so faint it may have been 10 miles distant.

The heavy rain that proceeded the fog seemed to bring hope that the early June heat and humidity would be tempered. lt was 9:30 and early evening had arrived. The temperature had dropped, still some humidity had survived. The fog/mist spectacle had conceded to night, contented now to appear as a deadening haze over the mountain brow.

A haze was dropping over her as well. The drugs were kicking in. Good. Now she wouldn't have to go through the evening wishing she had the energy to do the things she used to do. She wouldn't have to think about being lonely.

She left her balcony  for the 'box' or cubicle that was her apartment. The place she had lived for two weeks and had not met a single soul. She prepared to watch TV.


Saturday, September 24, 2011

Skin

l never knew what life would be like with no skin. l never had to think about it - pre-explosion - so, it was a non issue. 
Something happened that tore my skin off. Something big. l call it the explosion.
Life without skin is hard. Stuff gets on and then gets in. Before the explosion, these things were insignificant, they got brushed off, shrugged off, washed off. Now, well... many of these formally insignificant irritants, they bombard and they fester.
 The strange look or disapproving glance, the harsh word, the surprise eviction notice. They splinter into my skinless self and burn.